Bittersweet Mother's Day


Mother’s Day, like many family centered holidays, can be a bittersweet time for people struggling with infertility. Many holidays are imbued with warm memories of childhood, memories a couple would like to correct. Or holidays could be a stressful time of regret, giving couples an opportunity to think about how they would do things differently if they had a family of their own. For many women, Mother’s Day can be the worst of the holidays, an acute reminder of personal struggles.

The American Fertility Association makes several very good recommendations for how to handle the holiday. First, take care of yourself. Even though this holiday could be centered on your own mother, an outward expression of appreciation, it can still be painful as feelings turn inward. Think about skipping the holiday and any festivities. Send a card, make a short phone call, make a brief appearance. Ask for understanding from your loved ones and stay home doing something to treat yourself nice.

Second, spend some time with your partner. People react differently. Share your feelings and express your needs. Do not assume your partner will understand what you are going through and will naturally provide what you need. Express and communicate.

Third, you could find a unique way to celebrate the day, celebrate anything you want. It’s a good opportunity to assert control over an area where you may feel you have no control. Make the day your own, start a new tradition.

Finally, you may need to grieve and that’s perfectly ok. It is alright to be sad. Recognizing the power of the unknown and the sense of loss will provide the first steps toward healing and resolution.

Source: AFA


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