Help for the holidays


The American Fertility Association annually puts out a help list for the holidays for families who are struggling with infertility. Expectations of love and support can often be unrealistic, family dynamics can become unbearable, and the focus on other people’s children can become painful.

The AFA reminds you that there are things you can do, strategies you can develop which will pull you through these challenging times.

Opting Out. Just say no. Sometimes that family gathering with the nieces and nephews really is too much and you don’t have to take it on. You don’t even have to make up an excuse, just give yourself permission to say no thank you. Do something completely different, start a new tradition, or just create a nest with your partner and snuggle down for the day.

Plan your entrance and exit. Maybe cut the event short. If you can tolerate 30 minutes or maybe two hours max, do it and leave. Enlist your partners help. Make contingency plans in case you overestimated your ability to tolerate the event. You have to go, then go.

Take breaks when you need them. If it’s too much to watch all the children sing holiday songs or open their presents, find something somewhere else to do. Have a cocoa in the kitchen. Help with meal preparation. Offer to make that grocery store run. Take deep breaths.

Practice your answers to baby questions. People probably know you are wanting to start a family, or guessing that the timing would be right. Practice your answers so you aren’t caught off guard. You can use humor or honesty. You can also lie through your teeth. But be prepared.

Volunteer. Being around people who have troubles and having the ability to help them is empowering. You can change lives. Think about serving Christmas dinner at a shelter or helping with a canned food drive for a local charity. The work can also take your mind off your own challenges.

Source: AFA, MedicalNewsToday


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