White parents learning black hair

Many years ago, my Caucasian brother waited in line with his adopted African American daughter. He turned to the black woman in line behind him and asked what to do to help his daughter’s hair grow. “You’re treating her like she’s white. Stop washing her hair.” He was shocked.

It wasn’t until that moment that he had any idea of the differences in skin or hair care, much less the social perception of hair. That encounter led to a whole new world of extensions, braids, twists and relaxers.

Now, some adoption agencies are hearing the call. Cradle, an Evanston, Illinois based adoption agency recently had a sold out workshop “Caring for Afro-textured Hair and Skin.” Others are popping up around the country as more trans-racial families are created through adoption.

“People are judged by the way they look,” said Julien Drouet who has adopted two black children with his white partner. “I don’t agree, but if we want to help our kids, we need to know how to do this. “

“We wanted people to have a place where they could ask safely, without embarrassment,” said Iheoma Okeke-Banks, co-creator of the class. “This is what you don’t know until you’re in the trenches.”

My brother now is a pro at black hair. He said “I was afraid to admit I didn’t know how to care for something as basic as hair. The smartest thing I did was go to the black hair salon and ask. Now, I love to flat iron her hair. It’s a source of pride for both of us that her hair is shiny and healthy. Her hair is a testament to my love for her. I had no idea it was such a big deal.”

Source: The Kansas City Star