Just Because You Can Imagine it Doesn’t Mean You Should Do It

“I want my daughter to be pregnant for me. How do I get my husband sperm to her so she can get pg. I'm trying to do IVF at no cost. My daughter will donate eggs. Her remaining eggs can be donor eggs. To cover the cost.
How can this be done?”

So – you want to get pregnant and you need IVF. At no cost. I completely understand. Many, many families are trying to figure out a way to do the same thing. But I haven’t heard from many who are trying your approach.
Let’s see - you have adult daughters (my guess – no, my prayer - is by a man who is not your current honey) and you want one of them to be an egg donor and maybe the other to be the surrogate.

I completely sympathize – I do.

But jiminy cricket, this idea has “disaster waiting to happen” written all over it. It isn’t the first time I’ve heard stories of daughters who have donated or even carried babies for their moms, but familiarity doesn’t breed my comfort with the idea.

Please do not ask your daughter to be your egg donor or to carry your child for you. The amount of damage that can be done is impossible to measure. What if your daughter cannot have children of her own later on? What if she isn’t comfortable selling her eggs to make money for your IVF? How free is she really to tell you that? How will it be to see her biological daughter and treat her as a sister?

Even as I write this, I know there are mental health professionals and reproductive health clinics who will not hesitate to approve such an endeavor. I also know there are plenty who would not move forward with such a plan.

Please do not do this.


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