I've been a parent for a while and sometimes, when I am in a doctor's office trying to make a decision about a treatment plan for one of my kids, I often fall back on the same question.
"What would you do if it were your child?"
I find I sometimes get different answers than I expected, but I am always grateful for those physicians who are willing to look at the issue a little differently – from another angle.
And it's been on my mind as I have been pondering egg donation.
Full disclosure: I didn't qualify to be an egg donor because I was too short.
I would have done it, though if I could. I think. Over a decade ago, we were a young family with a little one and it seemed like an easy way to earn extra money (Obviously, I didn't know the first thing about how grueling a process it is).
Now the question is moot as I have reached the age limits of even the most gracious agencies (or desperate moms). Nobody would want these eggs – even I would hesitate to use them if I were still in my baby-making days.
If my daughters ever need donor eggs, I will fall on my knees in gratitude that some incredibly courageous young woman was willing to share in such a grueling process to help someone else have a family. I admit it. I would gladly encourage the use of such technology for someone I love and thank God it was available.
Here's the problem.
If I'm honest, I must also admit I wouldn't want my daughter to be an egg donor. Especially if she has not yet had her own children.
I'm biased – one of my medicated cycles (Clomid, hCG, progesterone and Avandia) resulted in a cyst that later caused the emergency removal of a tube and ovary. I knew the risks and accepted them fully, so committed was I to getting pregnant.
This month's issue of Fertility and Sterility tells a horrifying story about a three-time egg donor who died at 29 of
colon cancer. Her mom, a physician, tells the story and explains that was no genetic link to
cancer risks, she was incredibly healthy and had none of the risks factors for cancer. The only unknown factor seems to be, in her mother's mind at least, the hormones she took for her donor cycles.
Young adults do get colon cancer. So do teenagers. There is no causal link proven between donating eggs multiple times and cancer risks. I know that. But I also know there is much we do not know. Donor eggs are valuable and important, but I also wonder if there are better ways of taking care of the young women who donate. That said, I believe many egg donors are treated well – it's perhaps as a group that we fail them. There isn't a financial incentive to research long-term effects on egg donors, so is that why research is lagging behind?
I don't know if it is morally right to want it both ways. To want the technology and eggs to be available, and at the same time, hope your kid isn't ever finally strapped enough to feel like she has to donate her eggs.
I am grateful to the women who donate their eggs; but I just can't say I would have no concerns about my own daughters doing it – especially multiple times. And if it isn't ok for my daughters, how can I say it's ok for yours?
Resources: Fertility and Sterility_ Vol. 90, No. 5, November 2008
Angie
MyFertilityPlan.com
