Known or Anonymous? Donor Decisions

Deciding whether to use a known donor, a donor that agrees to release identifying information, or completely anonymous sperm or egg donor is an incredibly tough decision to make.

The recent release of “My Daddy’s Name is Donor” a report by the Institute for American Values; Test Tube Families: Why the Fertility Market Needs Legal Regulation, a book by Naomi Cahn; Eggsploitation, a documentary by The Center for Bioethics and Culture; and the recent release of related movies (The Kids Are All Right and The Switch) all bring the issue to light. The Donor Sibling Registry has long encouraged use of identified donors.

Using a known donor costs significantly less, but there are additional fees and psychological issues to be worked out. Even known donors must go through physical tests and legal paperwork is still critical to avoid potential problems down the road.

However, an unknown donor has the significant issue of unknown medical history. Until full chromosomal screenings are done on all donors, however, there are risks with all donors.

A new website offers an interesting option – it was created to help anyone who is looking for sperm donation or wants to find a sperm donor, a surrogate or a co-parent to have a child. Co-Parents.net provides service to anyone who wants a child but can't do so the traditional way, as well as those prepared to help these people by sperm donation. Co-parent.net helps you find your co-parent, your sperm donor or your surrogate mother.

Ultimately, the best advice I have is to talk to others who have made the decision you’re struggling with. Ask what they learned, what they wish they’d done differently, what the best decisions were. Talk to half a dozen people or more. Ultimately, you have to make a decision you can live with, but others have traveled this road before, so you don’t have to go it alone.